My life as an Army wife, by Jackie Thompson (ex 'wife of')

This was sixteen years of my life, where sacrifices were made and identity was lost for a while, as anyone married to a service person knows you become ‘wife of’ or ‘husband of’ the serving personnel.

1994 - Colchester, UK

I moved away from home to a Garrison town down south, my only reference for what life may be like in the military, was watching Soldier, Soldier on the TV as Robson and Jerome made it look so much fun!!!! Reality was interesting.

It is such a lonely existence especially when you have kids already and your new hubby is away on exercise, duty or tour.

I made one real friend in that time who I still talk to now but life consisted of school runs, housework, dinner then repeat. A lot of calls home to mum and just trying to adjust.

Hubby was established in Colchester and just expected me to crack on and get on with those around me, not really considering what a huge life shift it was, so many arguments, packing and unpacking while we figured it all out.

1996 - Northern Ireland

Ballykelly, Northern Ireland.

OMG, what a nightmare place north of Northern Ireland near Londonderry, living in a small village with a coal fire and nothing around for miles. If you tried to sell me this now I would say sounds perfect but back then was tough.

No support, just had to toughen up and get on with it as a mum of 3 this was no easy task but I was not the only one and some wives did form groups that helped to get us all through.

Biggest memory for me of this place was going shopping in Londonderry with some other ‘wives of’ and when at the checkout I spoke, my English accent was heard and I was spat on by the checkout girl, so needless to say did not go back there again, as it was not safe for us.

Lisburn, Northern Ireland next, complete contrast to Ballykelly. We were accepted here much more, however, security measures were tight. Having to check under the car before I used it to make sure there were no bombs underneath with a long mirror was quite sobering and avoiding areas of Belfast that were not safe for us. This was not an easy place for the oldest children they were bullied here which was not easy for them or us as parents.

Couldn’t find a job because of the kids and childcare, so I started taking in ironing from a local businessman who laundered clothes and had several women he would drop bags of clothes of to iron and would collect the next day. Kept that going for a few years 30-40 shirts hanging in my kitchen on a daily basis but bought in some extra pennies to help us out.

1999 - Canada

Ralston Village, Canada,

My favourite posting, so many firsts and so many amazing experiences for us all as a family. This was where my career started to get back on track, no more ironing for me. I was given a great opportunity to be the General Fund Fleet Clerk.

This job gave me so many skills that I grew and developed. I would be hiring out the minibuses, jet skis and lodge at Canmore to the soldiers and their families. I collected the money from all of the barracks laundry rooms counted and processed it.

I drove 15 seater minibuses to get serviced in the local town Medicine Hat which was about 48kms from our village, during all weather, my confidence grew and grew in my abilities and this was the job that made me realise that I could achieve more than I thought.

Just to add to Canada we travelled and experienced so much and all of us as a family learnt how to play Ice Hockey which was pretty amazing.

2001 - Germany

Rheindhalen, Germany.

This was a tough move we all wanted to stay in Canada but it wasn’t meant to be so off to Germany we went. My work experience from Canada assisted me greatly in securing my next position as ARRC Support Battalion Chief Clerk.

I was running the admin office alongside the military chief clerk to ensure all soldiers personal and financial details were accurate and communicating with soldiers and their families. Preparing documents for exercises and tours and ensuring that everything was in order for the soldiers.

Bergen Belsen, North Germany.

I managed to get a position here as the Information Communication Service (ICS) clerk. This job was based around all of the IT programs and infrastructure for 7 Armoured Brigade a Garrison of approximately 3,000 soldiers.

Here I developed my IT skills hugely, starting as clerical support I then became an administrator for the system and conducted training for soldiers on the new IT systems.

I assisted the ICS Manager with a project which completely changed over the current equipment, infrastructure and software to a new one, this was a huge project which I was really proud to be part of. This is where I realised that I could achieve anything I set my mind to.

Still at 7 Armoured Brigade I was offered the chance to be Hohne Garrison Chief Clerk, this was a great chance for me to manage the other clerical staff within the Garrison and add this valuable skill to my CV. I loved this job my team were exceptional and all ‘wives of’ just like me.

I was known across Hohne, Fallingbostel and Celle which is where the Garrison stretched over and was often at all of these sites on a regular basis for meetings, audits and communications with families and soldiers alike.

2011 - Return to UK

We moved back to UK for family reasons and my god was I in for a shock. I was so good at my job in Germany, so well thought of and I think to a degree I thought you know what anyone in the West Midlands will be lucky to have me with my skills, however, the reality was very different.

No one understood what I had been doing and for the most part all of my experience in different countries doing different jobs for the British Army was not really taken into consideration. I went for months, application after application, interview after interview, with nothing but rejection.

I felt so despondent and useless I started to doubt myself and my abilities and I couldn’t understand why no one would give me a chance to show what I was capable of.

Then the call came from REED recruitment asking if I would like to have a chat about an Office Manager position they had available in their Birmingham office, of course I was delighted and excited but also wary of it due to constant disappointments.

Two interviews later I was hired and was given everything I needed in a job that challenged me, I created the role and trained others around the country to be great Office Managers, I was so proud and I was pushed to keep growing and keep learning and I spent 10 years as the Office Manager until Covid hit.

I was given a secondment during this time by REED as an Employment Adviser helping long term unemployed back into work which was something different to anything I had ever done but was also challenging and rewarding.

After this unfortunately, my role was made redundant as an Office Manager so after 11 years it was time to move on from REED.

Next role iCare 24 – nothing to say here, they used me for my experience then cast aside.

I am hopefully now in my forever job as a Heads PA/ Office Manager for a SEN School. The job is amazing, challenges me everyday, there is nothing about this job that I don’t like and the students and staff are great.

Over the years as ‘wife of’ there are not many opportunities for work or a career and I consider myself to have been very lucky to secure the jobs I did which paved the way for my future.

So many husbands and wives have to put their lives and careers on hold to support their spouse who is serving and this is hugely overlooked in civvie street when there are gaps in the CV’s, remember there may not have been work available in the area they were stationed.

The life experience, resilience and determination are great qualities that most military spouses posses but unfortunately not many get the chance to show it. When people think about military they only consider the serving soldiers but the families that follow from country to country, sacrificing friendships, jobs and happiness to support their husband/wife/dad/mum are equally as important and sacrifice a lot too.